What is one factor that makes someone your friend?
For me, it’s a similarity in many ways… having a common ground, a relatable life story, likelihood in characters, something that makes you feel that you are in the same category as that person, or possibly at the same level of intelligence so they can understand what you are talking about -at one shot.
Speaking of something in common, it reminds me of back in the days when I was on Tinder. I used that hooking- up app to meet interesting people. If I am not mistaken, I have mentioned that in my bio too. Some of you who know me from Tinder might remember it. And of course, I did judge those men based on their look. Yes, I appreciate beauty. But’s it’s not all, this is more important… I won’t meet anyone I couldn’t converse with for more than 5 minutes.
My first Tinder date was nerdy (checked!), good looking (checked!), funny (checked!) didn’t mention sex in the conversation (checked!), got a day job (checked!). So I agreed to meet him for dinner. Two years after, we are good friends, completely platonic, shared many stories and been supported each other.
After him, I have met several interesting men who now have become my friends as well. At least three of them are also my confidant. Someone I would go to for advice, or simply giving me some validation on things I do or about to do (you know who you are). See… Things in common can get us that far with people. As we, humans, find comfort in homogeneous environments… being surrounded by people who get us, shared the same level of insanity with us. Nothing beats the feeling of being understood and accepted.
Now, looking at myself as a person… I am not sure if this should be something I am proud of… that I don’t consider myself as a high maintenance person. I believe, people who have known me long enough would agree with this statement.
Although the truth is, I wish I could be more demanding and feeling okay for asking things from men (and anyone, actually). I just don’t. In the past years, I am getting better at asking for a help. But merely asking?
“If he cares enough, I wouldn’t need to ask.” It’s the same with the other relationship in my life. Friends, family… acquaintance.
I am sure it’s a trust issue that I find it hard to engage with anyone I knew or anyone I just met after last year’s tragedy. But I know, as a human being, I do need to socialise to survive. Well… I write this post for one particular purpose: opening up myself again. As I do feel strong enough to expose myself behind the shell.
So… how about come to see me? Meet me on the common ground. 🙂